Dangerous conditions exist throughout the globe. As a service to our members and visitors, our crack team of research, communication and IT specialists will sort through the thousands of dangerous, daily notifications, worldwide, to filter and report only the most relevant and critical conditions that pose an immediate threat to our daily activities.
Atlanta, Georgia (AP) - The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert concerning a highly contagious and potentially deadly virus that is transmitted by direct or indirect contact, air and electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, colleagues or anyone else via any means - DO NOT TOUCH IT! This virus can potentially kill your personal life. If you come in contact with WORK you should immediately seek the antidote.
Antidote - proceed to the nearest liquor store with friends and purchase one or both of the following - Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER) and Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.